There's no sugarcoating it: It's likely your kid will come across porn online, even through completely innocent searches. In all honesty, haven't you come across adult content when searching for something unrelated?  I once looked up Girl Scout cookies under Google images and stumbled across some different "cookies" I wasn't looking for if you know what I mean? Parents may find themselves confronting this issue much sooner than imagined, with kids who may not even understand exactly what sex is yet. We've created an amazing toolkit to help parents have the porn talk. Request it here.

Not surprisingly, reports on porn use have shown an upswing of use during COVID. Even if we install blockers and software to limit their exposure we have to assume that they won't work 100% of the time and we can't control all devices kids come in contact with.  In Peggy Orenstein's popular book Boys and Sex she writes, "Porn raises the question...

I have an amazing framework to share with you. It's how to answer any difficult question. Any question! These are some steps that I recommend that parents consider when they get stumped by a question. Even when your child asks something that just floors you. In these moments you might feel very surprised, shocked, concerned, or scared. There's a lot of different feelings that can come up for us when our children are asking questions.  It can even inhibit us from having certain conversations because we're fearful of some of the difficult or tough questions children may ask.

I’ve created a simple framework that parents can use when they find themselves answering a difficult question. Whether it’s a question about sexuality, violence, a belief, or a question about something that you've experienced. Anything that may freak you out.

 
I'm going to walk you step by step through a simple strategy. Are you ready to feel more empowered and certain talking to your...

Imagine this... You've noticed the first signs of your son or daughter entering puberty. Hair in new places, body odor, breasts budding, and the wonderful new attitude that hormones seem to ignite. You've had a good, strong relationship with your child. You still do. But … you know you need to keep conversations going about body changes, crushes, relationships, sexuality and suddenly, you're talking, they're not. Maybe they're rolling their eyes, looking past you, shrugging their shoulders. Or, maybe they listen when you talk, but they are silent. Now what?

First of all, it is normal for teens to have their silent times, their talkative times, and indifferent times. 

Second, remember that you have been communicating with your kids about sexuality and relationships from the moment they were born—whether you've ever actually had "THE Talk" about these topics or not. They have been watching you, listening, and absorbing your...

Our first Tip is to Prep!

Are you ready to have THE Talk? Many times parents are wondering if their child is ready to learn about sex and growing up, but often times the real question is Are YOU Ready? Have you taken the time to think about what your beliefs and values are and which you’d like to leave behind and which you’d like to instill in your child.  A great place to start is to inventory where you learned about sex. What values did your parents instill in you? What beliefs and values do you have about sexuality?

How about your partner? It’s equally important to have important conversations with your co-parent about this topic. Get on the same page and discuss tactics and timing of your talks. You both need to talk to them as well. Don’t leave this up to one parent to do. Kids need both of your perspectives. If you are a single parent or separated from your child’s parent it may be difficult to get on the same page. You could start...